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Bianca Knows Best ... And Helps a Cougar

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Dear Bianca,

I think something is horribly wrong with me. I can't keep a man for more than a few months before he moves away. My last two boyfriends have left town after accepting promotions or taking new jobs.

Neither relationship has been serious enough to warrant me packing up and leaving with them. Of course, that's likely because I only had a few months with each of them. If I'd had more time, perhaps one of the relationships could have developed into something more serious.

I'm a bit of a cougar, I must admit. I’m 55 years old, and both of these men have been in their mid-30s. Could age be the issue?

-- Hot Older Mama

Dear Hot Mama,

The only thing wrong with you is your penchant for younger men. Since 30 is the new 20, people in their mid-30s are at the height of their career life. They're getting promotions and relocating to other cities for better-paying positions.

If you want a man who'll stick around, date someone your own age or even a few years older. Most people in their mid-50s are set in their careers. They'll be retiring in a few years and stay in one place for the benefit of their retirement plan.

Besides, a man in his 30s is young enough to be your son. You may fancy yourself in the "hot older mom" role, but since men mature slower than women, you're essentially dating men with the maturity level of a woman in her late 20s. The age/maturity level gap is gap is really a bit too wide here, don't ya think?

If you insist on dating younger men, you might find a keeper with less financially-motivated types, but beware of stoners and slackers. There are plenty of men in their mid-30s who are floundering around, looking for a sugar mama to fund their pot habits. And shouldn't couples really share the recreational expenses?

Either way, you'll likely find someone to settle down with when the time is right. Losing two boyfriends in row for similar reasons is a little strange, but not yet indicative of a pattern. Who knows? The next guy, no matter his age, could be Mr. Right.

Got a problem? Bianca can solve it. Send advice queries to bphillips@memphisflyer.com.

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