by Joey Hack
"Yesterday, she told me she was 'totally outraged' over the media's reporting on Syria. Last week, she was 'totally outraged' over a joke someone made that she felt was offensive to people with Shingles. It's pretty much a daily thing. Somebody's going to say something that sends her through the roof," said Lotts' co-worker Bob Andweave.
Earlier this week, Lotts was observed expressing her outrage at a server who asked if she was ready for a check while she was "plainly not finished eating." This was followed by a 45 minute dissertation on the ongoing problem of condescension in the service industry.
Other recent targets of Lotts' outrage include city leaders, Republicans, polluters, meat, organized religion, and "racist undertones in the criticism of Miley Cyrus."
"Yeah, we tend to not invite Karen with us anywhere these days," said alleged friend Tara Cotta. "It's just an all night series of gripes, complaints and anger. Last time we were out, she went on and on about how [WMC-TV meteorolgist] Ron Childers is insensitive because he, apparently, didn't show enough sympathy for the homeless when he mentioned how hot it was going to be the next day. Ron didn't make a joke or anything. He just didn't remind everyone to be compassionate. Thirty minutes this went on."
Calls to Lott were met with anger, recriminations, and accusations of pandering to the high fructose corn syrup manufacturers.
Joey Hack is a regular contributor to Fly on the Wall and member of the Wiseguys improv troupe.