Memphis City Council Member Janis Fullilove Stopped by Police for Fabulous Driving

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Dang!
  • Dang!
Embattled City Council Member/Bee colony Janis Fullilove was pulled over by a Memphis police officer Tuesday for looking 30 in a 45.

“She was working it hard too,” says Officer Weston Krupke who wrote Fullilove a ticket for driving while fabulous. “She wasn’t going straight but kind of weaving back and forth in the road. Slow. Fierce.

“Damn, I just can’t stop smelling her perfume,” Krupke exclaims. “I could look at that woman all day, and that’s what makes her such a danger to herself and to other drivers.”

According to the police report it was the powerful odor of fresh polish that alerted officers to the fact that Fullilove’s nails had just been done. The nails were also extremely well manicured and shiny and the colors she’d selected beautifully complimented a generous application of electric blue eye shadow. Her rouge and lipstick were perfect, if thickly applied, and her short blonde wig was sharp and businesslike.

“She blew a perfect 10 on the fabulyzer,” Krupke says. “I had no choice but to issue the citation.”

No attempts were made to contact Fullilove who is too busy thinking about Memphis and the people she represents to be bothered.

Additional reporting by Danny Bader, a Wiseguy and regular contributor to Fly on the Wall.

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