The Eyes of Glenn Beck

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Becks peepers
  • Beck's peepers
This holiday season Fox news personality Glenn Beck is bringing back his live stage show, The Christmas Sweater. That's right, Glenn Beck has a live stage show and for the low, low price of $20 local Beckheads can catch a big screen simulcast of the event at Memphis' Cinema Paradiso on Thursday, December 3rd at 7:00 p.m. To promote The Christmas Sweater—a Return to Redemption, the Conservative talker has created the following trailer, which is one of the most accidentally hilarious things I've seen in a long, long time.

Based on his debut novel of the same name The Christmas Sweater is a semi-autobiographical story about a little boy named Eddie who wants a bike for Christmas. But money has been scarce at Eddie's house since his father died and the family bakery closed. So instead of getting a shiny new bike for Christmas the angry, ungrateful kid gets a "stupid, handmade, ugly sweater." Eddie is mortified by the gift and unable to see that—according to a press release— he "already owns life's most valuable treasures." Unsurprisingly that same stupid ugly sweater helps Beck's wayward surrogate navigate life's storms until he eventually realizes that the stupid, ugly Christmas sweater wasn't a stupid, ugly Christmas sweater at all. It was the gift of love.

What any of this has to do with weird closeups of Glenn Beck's baby blues is anybody's guess.

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