There s good news for troubled teenage poets. It appears that the good folks at ECW Press will publish anything. As proof, we give you Schmelvis: In Search of Elvis Presley s Jewish Roots by rock journalist Max Wallace and radio producer Jonathan Goldstein. Schmelvis is a collection of poems, commentary, and correspondences that seem to be more about the authors troubled psyches than the King of Rock-and-Roll and his dubious Hebrew origins. Here s a choice excerpt: If Elvis is a Jew the wild-eyed ladies of Borneo will rejoice with pi a coladas?/The wild grocery-bagged ladies of Brighton Beach will dance can-can down the boardwalk?/The wild-fisted street toughs of Memphis will rabbit punch my uterus? E.E. Cummings couldn t have said it better.