Inconvenient as they may be, certain facts simply must be faced: Someday, you too will be numbered among the dead, painted up like Tammy Faye Bakker on prom night, and planted in the cold, cold ground. And in case you thought things couldn't get much worse from there, after all of these things you've said, done, wanted, imagined, lost, and longed for in life, you'll probably be forgotten. Unless, of course, you somehow manage to shuffle off your mortal coil in a fascinating, funny, or mysterious way and are fortunate enough to be interred at Elmwood Cemetery, in which case you may be memorialized as a part of the cemetery's popular "What a Way to Go" walking tour, which celebrates park residents who died more colorfully than they lived.
- Bruce Meisterman
With more than 70,000 citizens both prominent and unknown, not living within its borders, Elmwood historians have a lot of juicy stories from which to choose. This year's tour showcases a mysterious fall, a batch of poisoned cookies, and a snowball fight gone terribly awry. You will also hear the mystery of Granville W. Garth, son of Horace E. and Alice D. Garth, who was lost at sea on Christmas night in 1803.
The "What a Way to Go" tour kicks off at 5:30 p.m. with drinks and snacks, because dying of hunger on a cemetery tour would be a terrible way to go.