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Tidy Bowl Sunday

According to an urgent-sounding press release from Mr. Rooter of Memphis, your Super Bowl party could turn into a "Toilet Bowl disaster" if you don't "tackle some plumbing precautions before kick-off." Mr. Rooter's expert flush-ologists have provided a handy-dandy checklist to ensure that your Super Bowl shindig is positively dumperiffic:

• Stock bathroom with single-ply toilet paper.

• Remove small objects from the top of the toilet tank that could fall in, causing it to clog.

• If your team loses, resist the urge to flush your favorite team shirt or cap down the toilet.

Sadly, all of this excellent potty protocol will be completely lost on anyone who's just washed down a pound of chili cheese nachos with a gallon or two of cheap beer.

President Junior?

Last Week on Hardball, Chris Matthews asked former Tennessee congressman Harold Ford Jr., who was recently tapped to head the Democratic Leadership Council, if the once-powerful DLC still has what it takes to make a dark-horse candidate such as former Arkansas governor Bill Clinton the Democrat's nominee for POTUS. Not surprisingly, Ford took this as a question about his own presidential aspirations.

"My interests and ambitions are less than that right now," he answered.

The Pizza Effect

According to chaos theory, patterns

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found in the microscopic universe should also be reflected in larger and larger systems. The Fly-Team's senior chaos experts recently added to the body of evidence by isolating and studying a batch of coupons issued by Little Caesar's pizza, which, like Big Caesar, expire on the Ides of March.

Irony! Irony!

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