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It's so hot ...

Now is the summer of our discontent, and it's so hot in Memphis that the old "fry an egg on the sidewalk" line isn't good enough. So here are a few more colorful ways for Memphians to express their discomfort.

1. It's so hot even lawyer Larry Parrish is taking off his clothes ... and Nick Clark isn't trying to shut him down.

2. It's so hot customers at strip clubs are paying the girls not to give them lap dances.

3. It's so hot the mayoral race is being classified as a stroll.

4. It's so hot the water in the Mississippi has actually been sterilized and catfish are jumping out of the water ready to eat.

5. It's so hot the streetwalkers are demanding hazard pay.

6. It's so hot you can use your mailbox like a microwave.

7. It's so hot the Ramses statue in front of the Pyramid is wearing sun screen.

8. It's so hot the panhandlers are avoiding overexertion by taking no for an answer.

9. It's so hot the Memphis Zoo has been approved by the Guinness Book of Records as "the world's largest and most exotic barbecue."

10. It's so hot Mayor Herenton's critics are praising the shade he provides.

Tom Tom Club

After 27 years at FM 100, radio personality Tom Prestigiacomo is leaving for KIM 98.9. Presumably, the veteran broadcaster left his old job because it's so hot in Memphis that even 98.9 is considered cool.

Clever Roos?

Animal-control officers in Bay Saint Louis, Mississippi, have received numerous reports of a 4-foot tall kangaroo hopping along U.S. 90. Officials have suggested that the kangaroo may be an escaped pet and is only interested in doing the kinds of jobs American animals don't want to do.

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