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Fly on the Wall

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Um, news?

During this May's Beale Street Music Festival, My Eyewitness News reported that hundreds of people who purchased discounted tickets from unauthorized street vendors were disappointed when they arrived at the gate and discovered that their tickets didn't work.

Disappointed? (Long, skeptical pause.)

What's the next big expose for our telejournalists: "Sorry, Charlie, those strippers don't really love you"?

Meanwhile, in tangentially related news, Commercial Appeal scribe Andria Lisle — an excellent writer and friend of the Fly Team — turns in a detailed piece of investigative reporting titled, "Memphians find that sunglasses are both functional and cool: The right lenses block the sun's glare and stylish frames make them cool to wear, optometry experts share." Sunglasses are hip, you say? No, they're just a fad, they'll go away. But keep a pair for souvenirs. They've been around 900 years, worn by emperors and dictators and uncool Blues Brothers imitators.

Jungle Love

According to various sources, two female gorillas have arrived in Memphis to join the zoo's one male gorilla on exhibit. Some gorillas have all the luck.

Fingerprints?

Great comedy from the AP: "Four people have been charged with breaking into a truck belonging to Memphis police director Larry Godwin. ... Three of the suspects were being held in the Shelby County Jail. ... Memphis police officials said they treated the director's case the same as the other 3,000 reported vehicle break-ins they've had this year." No punchline required.

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