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Fly on the Wall

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Headlines I

Last week, Commercial Appeal scribe Nikki Bussey penned a quirky little feature about a bunch of Memphis women who got dressed up, boozed up, and fired up for Sex and the City's big-screen opening. It was slugged "Long waits in high heels can't ruin Sex and the City premiere." Apparently, however, the filmmakers can.

Headlines II

Has there ever been a fake tabloid headline more shocking than this actual headline from the CA? "Girl: Dad made me dismember mom."

According to police testimony, James Hawkins bought a circular saw from Kmart to make the grisly chore go by more quickly. Once he and his 12-year-old daughter finished the job, Hawkins returned the saw to the store for a refund.

Not So Sophomoric

On Monday, June 2nd, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration named University of Memphis sophomore Justin Burns as the winner of its first lunar art competition.

Burns' winning entry was a colorful cartoon of a young girl in a tight pink spacesuit driving her futuristic rocket cycle (adorned with classic mudflap girls) through a moon tube. That's not usually what you get when a college sophomore shows you the moon.

Tap, tap, bang

The DeSoto Times reports that a Byhalia man was seriously wounded after he attempted to use a muzzle-loading rifle for a hammer. This is a perfect example of why all hammering should be done with screwdrivers.

Orange Crush

According to the AP, Hughes, Arkansas, police didn't have to work too hard to prove that a soda-vending machine found in a front yard was stolen. The officers simply followed a set of dolly tracks from the liquor store that reported the theft. Maybe the new plan allowing Memphis to hire out-of-town cops is a good idea after all.

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