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Fly on the Wall

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Fluff & Fluffer

Mwelu, the Memphis Zoo's only male gorilla, is simply too much ape for any one woman. That's why the mother and daughter team of Penny and Kebara, two hot-to-trot gorillas from San Diego, have been shipped in to "acclimate" Mwelu to the opposite sex. Or, as the AP put it, to get him "in the mood for a family."

Once he's "in the mood," other females will be brought in to mate and, if early reports can be believed, this heart-wrenching story of a mother, a daughter, and the knuckle-dragging simian they can but can't "have" may turn into a sweeping tragedy worthy of 1,000 typing chimps.

Susan Shroder of San Diego's Union-Tribune tells us that Penny and Kebara "are in l-o-v-e ... love!" We can take some comfort in knowing, as Shroder reports, that these West Coast girls are "both on birth control." Let's hope our Mwelu is using some protection too.

Crime Time

According to a recent FBI report, Memphis ranks second only to Detroit in violent criminal activity. But can you always believe what you read in the newspapers or watch on TV?

Last week, The Middletown Journal of Middletown, Ohio, ran the headline "Local blues musician gets shot at Memphis event." The story it accompanied was that of pianist Jimmy Rogers, who won the Greater Cincinnati Blues Challenge and earned a chance to compete at the International Blues Challenge on Beale Street.

Man on Lady

The contest to name a new lady-centric column in The Commercial Appeal was won, according to lady-columnist Cathryn Stout, by a man. The new column will be called Chick Chat because, apparently, Bitchin' Babes and Vagina Dialogues were already taken. A recent installment of Chick Chat addressed the "summer effect," noting that June is when most teenagers lose their virginity. Stout's report failed to mention how cruel June also can be for young gorillas in h-e-a-t.

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