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Rocking Rides

Here's a piece of information certain to make the Save Libertyland crowd cringe in frustration. It might have made sense for Hard Rock Park, a $400 million rock-and-roll-themed amusement park, to open in Memphis, the home of Elvis and his favorite roller coaster, the Zippin Pippin. But it didn't. It might have been better to build the park in Cleveland, near the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. But that didn't happen, either.

Hard Rock Park opened earlier this year in Myrtle "Rock City" Beach, South Carolina. In a bit of unintentional self-parody, Felix Mussenden, the park's president, recently told the Chicago Sun-Times that the "vision" was a "bigger, better Branson."

Adding insult to injury, the park's Born in the USA section is defined by a statue of Lady Liberty holding a Zippo lighter instead of a torch. Her pedestal is engraved with the lyrics to "Keep on Rocking in the Free World," a song by Canadian rocker Neil Young.

Real Gone

Your PeskyFly doesn't offer his advice too often, but some people are in serious need of help.

Last Sunday, in the wee hours of the morning, an Arkansas family pulled up to the gates of Graceland to take a quick gander before continuing on their holiday journey. The man and wife got out of the car but left it running. And they left their three children sound asleep in the back. Moments later, a car thief drove off in the family's Yukon with the kids, who were unharmed and eventually recovered in a nearby parking lot, still asleep in the back.

Note to carjackers: If you're not ready to have children, please take all necessary precautions.

Tainted Luv

There have been several reports of a naked man bopping his bologna in public in East Memphis near Walnut Grove and I-40. If you see him, be sure to point and giggle. Then run.

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