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Ophelia Says

Ophelia Ford says the darndest things. When asked by Nashville's WSMV-TV why she spent $12,000 in taxpayer money on travel during a time of economic hardship, the controversial Memphis legislator responded with joyous relief: "You mean to tell me that all I spent was $12,000?" she said. "Oh, well, hallelujah. Thank you, Lord, for making it so economical. Thank you, Lord. That's all I can say."

Wish List

The Desoto Times reports that state legislators were presented with a "wish list" for DeSoto County, an area "struggling to maintain the level of services that has pushed the county to many positive state and national rankings." Ironically, the list included a request to revise a statute the requires paupers to "declare themselves paupers before they die in order to receive a pauper's burial."

Studies in "Duh"

This week The Commercial Appeal reported "Thieves loot valuables from parked cars" and recommended that drivers not leave money, electronics, guns, or other valuable items in their parked vehicles.

Perhaps next week we'll see a report on the dangers of raising badgers in your pants.

Li'l Bailouts

SunTrust Banks has opened "Youth Bank" operated by sixth-grade students at Power Center Academy in Hickory Hill. According to the Memphis Business Journal, this awesome-sounding program allows students to "learn the main principles of banking through depositing and saving money, offering customer service to each other, making change and keeping ledger reports." Now if SunTrust ever needs more federal bailout money, the bank can send an adorable, frowny-faced 11-year-old to D.C. to hold out a hand and say, "Pwease."

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