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Fly on the Wall

Weird, weird week.

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Some weeks are stranger than others, and this one was a doozy:

• Good news for one Memphis zookeeper: The escaped 3-year-old Bengal tiger he encountered unexpectedly in a zoo walkway isn't a big fan of terrified-zookeeper meat. Fortunately, the man was able to get away and seek help after being bitten on the calf.

• Let's face facts: It's a Jerry Springer world, we only watch reruns of COPS in it. This week in Memphis, a woman accused by Wal-Mart security of shoplifting threw a real, live baby at the guard. Yes, you read that correctly. In an attempt to avoid apprehension, Camilla Fields whacked her accuser with a car seat containing someone else's 2-month-old infant. Everybody knows you can't bring down a rent-a-cop with anything smaller than a 6-year-old.

• As if we needed further proof that the end is near: "Nashville Needs More Memphis." That headline topped a doting post about the sold-out June 19th Gories/Oblivions reunion at the Hi-Tone Cafe, featured on the Nashville Scene's Nashville Cream blog. Weirder still, a commentor noted "Memphis, while having its obvious downsides, will ALWAYS be much, much cooler than Nashville," and nobody took exception.

• A video posted to Youtube on May 21st shows mysterious lights glowing in the skies over Horn Lake, Mississippi. The lights have been variously explained as flares related to a military exercise and as FedEx airplanes making their approach to the Memphis airport. But when tigers attack zookeepers, women use babies as weapons, and people in Nashville say nice things about Memphis and nobody complains — all in the span of a single week — alien mind control can't be dismissed out of hand.

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