News » The Fly-By

Fly on the Wall

by

2 comments

Crowning Blow

Writing for the Nashville Scene's "Pith in the Wind" blog, reporter Betsy Phillips offered 10 less than compelling reasons why the Scene should abandon its policy of non-endorsement and support the still-undeclared candidacy of professional wrestler Jerry Lawler, once again considering a run for the Memphis mayor's office. Although the Fly-Team agrees with Phillips' assessment that Lawler would be "one of the few mayors in the nation who looks dashing in spandex pants," we are also grossed out, reminded that all politics is local and further reminded that all political comedy is localer. So here are five essential reasons for giving King Jerry a chance:

5) Shortly after "Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart becomes Lawler's communications czar, the first family's "We Hate School" is declared to be the official theme song of Memphis city government.

4) The city gives a dozen free bottle rockets with each payment of property taxes.

3) Nobody, not even Dave Brown, knows if the systematic pile-driving of every City Council person is real or an elaborate hoax. Either way, everybody likes it. 2) The mayor's office is relocated to an immaculately restored Mid-South Coliseum.

1) What Jerry "King" Lawler can't accomplish with his own meaty hands, his trusty mayoral tag-team partner, superstar Bill Dundee, can!

Memphis Headlines

Life imitates A Clockwork Orange with this headline from My Eyewitness News 24/30: "Police Say Memphis Man Carried Flirting Too Far, Pulled Gun on Woman's Father."

After aggressive flirter Alford Weatherspoon was reprimanded by the father of a woman he approached in a Whitehaven parking lot, Weatherspoon pulled a pistol out of his pants and threatened to kill everyone. Nothing turns the ladies on like psychotic fits of homicidal rage.

Comments (2)

Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment
 

Add a comment