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Fly on the Wall

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Majesty

Aiming to set the record straight regarding his quest for the mayor's office, Jerry "The King" Lawler recently sat down for an interview with controversial blogger/radio host Thaddeus Matthews. Lawler, who serves as a commentator for WWE's Monday Night Raw, the most-watched program on cable TV, told Matthews that his campaign wasn't a publicity stunt. Lawler also said he would not hire a campaign manager or accept campaign donations because "that's what politicians do," and he would prefer not to be associated with politicians.

Of course, the primary things politicians do are run for office and talk about how they aren't like other politicians.

Monkey Business

Can theft be regarded as criticism? According to the Corinth, Mississippi, daily newspaper, the Daily Corinthian, a 300-pound fiberglass gorilla — "a decorative lawn item of sorts" — has been stolen from the home of James and Pat Daniel. James Daniel told the Corinthian that he wants his big gorilla back because the fake ape was a Christmas gift from his wife. He said the couple enjoyed dressing it up and getting "feedback" from the neighbors.

President who?

Various reports have claimed that gun purchases have been on the rise in recent months. A recent blog post by The Daily Telegraph staff may reveal a previously unreported reason why the population has become so very frightened: freaky gun-shop owners. When asked to describe the socioeconomic climate, Memphis gun dealer Cliff Hunter told the Telegraph, "People are buying gold right now with this economy mess. I'd rather have an armload of guns, ammo, and horses." In his explanation of how the U. S. government is trying to create backdoor gun bans, local dealer Jay Hill added that gun sales are up "50 to 60 percent since Osama got elected."

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