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[Sic] Petitions need proofreading too, as evidenced by this online plea to reopen shuttered gay dance club Backstreet: "I support the Re Opening of Backstreet Memphis ... I believe Backstreet is a Safe Place for me and my firends ... Backstreet also does not allow people to hang out in the parking lot to prevent desturbing others ... Backstreet is a good place for the community of Memphis to have here in Memphis." Bear Necessities Memphis zoo officials are now reporting that Haley, the polar bear who started acting all preggers back in November, is definitely not "with cub." Earlier this year, Peyton, the zoo's male polar bear, had been all like, "Hey, good looking." And Haley was all like, "Whazzup, handsome?" And so her keepers moved her into a private exhibit so the pandas wouldn't be all jealous and stuff. Zoo officials think the couple will mate again in the spring. Snow Angels WMC-TV reported that the recent snow seemed to stop crime cold. Nobody was booked into 201 Poplar as snow fell on Memphis from 11:52 p.m. on Sunday, January 9th, to 11:01 a.m. Monday, January 10th. There's no word yet as to whether the linkage of colder temperatures to a cessation in crime will prompt the high-tech cops of Blue Crush to invent a freeze ray and become Blue Ice.

Tribute Artistry The German Central Bank recently displayed this fake £20 Elvis banknote as an example of the 60,000 counterfeit bills that made it into their monetary system last year.

By Chris Davis. E-mail him at

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