Shock rocker Alice Cooper recently told London's Daily Mirror about meeting Elvis at his Las Vegas penthouse in 1971: "Elvis took me into the kitchen, opened a drawer, and pulled out a loaded pistol, telling me to put it to his head. ... I didn't know what to do. I had this gun in my hand and was expecting one of his security [guards] to come in any second, see me holding a weapon, and shoot me dead.
"A little voice in my left ear was telling me, 'Go on. This is history. Kill him. You'll always be the guy who killed Elvis.' In my other ear was another voice saying, 'You can't kill him. It's Elvis Presley. Wound him instead. You'll only get a few years!' A fraction of a second later Elvis did a flying kick on the gun ... before tripping me and pinning me to the ground by my neck, announcing, 'That's how you stop a man with a gun.'" This scene may be one of the greatest missed photo ops in the history of rock-and-roll.
There's at least one upside to living in a city known for its crime rate. Sometimes you get to read headlines like this one from WMC-TV: "Man Fires Gun After He's Hit with Tin Foil." John Wormley hit Anthony Smith (below) several times with a tube of foil before Smith drew his gun.
Saturday Night Live writer Seth Meyers talks to a reporter about Justin Timberlake's acting skills: "Timberlake is so good. I pale in comparison to him. ... It's like a butter knife next to a Swiss Army knife." Not a shabby compliment, although we'd have said it was more like putting a steak knife next to a butterfly steak knife.
By Chris Davis. E-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.