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Sordid Business

Del Shores, the outspoken gay stand-up comedian and creator of the Sordid Lives play, film, and TV series, thinks Tennessee's "Don't Say Gay" legislator Stacey Campfield has a crush on him. "He wrote me 40 times [on Facebook]," Shores told Knoxville's Metro Pulse newspaper. "I challenged him to a debate. He basically asked me for $1,000 to appear, which is an ethics violation, which may have consequences later. ... Since I know I can't change his mind ... I am challenging him to oil wrestling. I think he will be more comfortable with that."

Clean Getaway?

Memphian Annie Conner told WREG that she's seen a lot of things from her front porch but nothing like what she witnessed across the street a little over a week ago. A shocked Conner told the Channel 3 news team that she saw 32-year-old Jason Tucker steal a cast-iron bathtub from a neighboring house and drag it down the street. "He did it with just a, I don't know if it was a rope or a belt, but it was through a hole through the bathtub. And he pushed it down a hill," Conner said.

Suspicious Minds

An armed bandit with an affinity for bad fake facial hair has been holding up gambling shops in Sussex, England. This past week, he stole £400 while disguised as Elvis with gold sunglasses and stick-on sideburns. According to the Daily Mail, "He wisely did not attempt to copy Elvis' showy trademark gold jumpsuit." Officials think this tribute artist is the same man who held up another gambling shop wearing a fake bushy beard, possibly disguised as either Joaquin Phoenix or Sam Phillips.

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