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Fly on The Wall

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Neverending Elvis

While searching for some bit of trivia to honor the 55th anniversary of Elvis Presley's debut as a film actor in Love Me Tender, your Pesky Fly ran across some comments by Jimmy Osmond, who talked about how his poor eating habits caused him embarrassment when the Osmond Brothers opened for the King: "I remember opening for Elvis in Vegas when I was 11 and, with food on tap via room service, gobbling down a mountain of grilled cheese sandwiches. Midway through one of my songs, I threw up over the entire front row. When I looked up at the balcony, Elvis was laughing his head off at me."

Monster Hunters

How can it be that Fly on the Wall is only just now discovering Into Outdoors, a monthly tabloid for hunters and fishermen in the Mid-South? The cover art for the October issue was special, to say the least, with a vampire hottie in a too-short dress curled up in the lap of an evil, red-eyed were-deer.

But even an illustration like that couldn't prepare an uninitiated reader for content like "Fantasy Match-Ups: Dar v. Jackie Bushman," in which writer Josh Bell imagines who might come out on top in a (human) hunting match between the loincloth-wearing hero of the Beast Master movies and Bushman, the Outdoor Channel's well-heeled hunting star. Here's how it plays out: "The Beast Master will unleash his pet ferret Kodo as a distraction. While Jackie is lost in critter-chasing ecstasy, Dar will have plenty of time to sneak up behind Jackie and slice his throat."

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