You know what the world really needs? More reality television shows. It would be even more awesome if someone would create a cheap-looking reality show about overweight Memphis housewives with positive self-images that border on exhibitionism. They could eat and go clubbing. Then, if things get boring one of the women could just put her butt in the camera and shake it. Oh, wait a minute. Somebody has already made that show.
Balance Vector Productions of Los Angeles has produced a demo for a show called Heavy Housewives of Memphis. Thankfully for all of us, they've made it available online. The trailer opens with glamour shots of downtown Memphis and then cuts to extremely large women pole-dancing at an establishment called the Vertical Butterfly. The women are subsequently introduced as Angela Clark (married with "two beautiful kids") and Latisha Doty, who doesn't have time for children because "it's all about her." Then there's Felicia the Diva and Shikita, the "mean, controlling [CENSORED]." Latisha (pictured) delivers the money quote with her definition of "thick-a-licious": "Thick-a-licious, to me, means that you're thick and delicious," she says. "And that's what I am, thick and delicious. Let me show you my butt."
Circle of Life
Midtown resident Donna Karney told WMC-TV that her dog Moby was only seconds away from being carried away by a hawk this past summer. The WMC report also cited "some Midtown residents" who believe trends in urban chicken farming have attracted birds that hunt rats that live off of chicken poop. The moral to the story (assuming "some Midtown residents" can be trusted): You can have your city chickens, but every now and then, you're going to lose a Chihuahua.