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Zoo Goo

A visit to the Memphis Zoo's website produced this pop-up warning: "Animals of the Night will be closed for steam cleaning February 14 through March 8." We always wondered how you bathed a giant cockroach.

Neverending Elvis

This week's best headline comes from The Miami Herald, and it's a doozy: "Former Elvis impersonator in poison standoff at motel blames diabetes." This epic topper leads a story about 64-year-old Michael James Conley, a former Elvis impersonator who blocked the door of his room at America's Best Value Inn with a TV set and held 25 police officers, a SWAT team, and an FBI agent at bay by telling them he had a vial of deadly ricin. According to the Herald's report, Conley, a diabetic, "regained his composure after his son cooked him some oatmeal, helping rebalance his blood sugar."

Lost

This week Senator Bob Corker met with a group of Memphis movers and shakers to set the record straight about what's wrong with America's economy. According to The Commercial Appeal, Corker believes we are living in what will be seen as a "lost decade," economically speaking, because federal regulations have unintended, often negative consequences. So remember, kids, the economy hasn't really sucked all this time because an unregulated banking and lending industry got drunk on credit default swaps and gambled away grandma's 401(k).

Facebooked

Is this online ad suggesting that Fannie Mae eliminated credit score requirements for refinancing, and now even hillbillies who've been turned down in the past can try again? Righteous!

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