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Fly on the Wall

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Winning

Poor John Ford's just barely out of jail and already the former legislator had a Charlie Sheen moment. Before entering a Memphis halfway house, Ford told reporters, essentially, that he was winning. "You watch what I do," he said. "I am not down. I am not out. I am way out in front."

Black Angus Moan

It looks like Memphis will be getting some free advertising thanks to Hardee's and Carl Jr. The fast-food chains are "proving, once again, that two meats are better than one" by "unleashing" the new Memphis BBQ Burger, a "meat-on-meat" hamburger pairing Memphis-style pulled pork with a charbroiled beef patty and batter-fried onions.

If that sounds like food porn, wait until you see the commercial, which opens in the fabled mountains of Memphis at a sexy barbecue cook-off.

An unseen band plays the blues as two hot, sweaty girls in daisy dukes and bikini tops discover they'll have to share the same grill. It's not a comfortable mix. They bump into one another and jiggle. Somehow their butt cheeks become exposed.

Pork ends up flopping onto some beef, and it's so delicious the girls have to eat it in a homoerotic burger embrace.

Of course, if this was an authentic Memphis barbecue, Samuel L. Jackson would be around shortly to chain those girls to the grill.

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