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Fly on the Wall

Blues Czar, Alien Geography, We're (Still) Fat, Neverending Elvis

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Blues Czar
Over the past week, a number of media outlets have reported that action movie icon Steven Seagal, who lived in Memphis where he recorded the CD Mojo Priest, is having a serious tough-guy bromance with Russian President Vladimir Putin. Seagal has allegedly identified Putin as one of the "great world leaders" and may eventually emigrate. It sure would be a terrible day for American folk-fighting enthusiasts if the last authentic Delta Blues Ninja jumps ship.

Alien Geography
Alien royal/bane to neighborhood associations Robert "Prince Mongo" Hodges was back in the news this week when WREG reported on the dilapidated condition of one of his downtown properties: "The three-story building between Front and Central is in such bad shape, it is leaning, not standing straight." According to Fly on the Wall's alien technology experts, Mongo was able to locate his buildings between distant streets that don't run parallel to one another by using a Zambodian molecule stretcher, which may have caused structural damage to both the original building and its counterpart from beyond the shadow dimension.

We're (Still) Fat
According to a list compiled by Gallup and Healthways, more than a third of Memphis' adults are obese, ensuring that the nation's barbecue and cupcake capital holds onto its title as America's most obese city of more than one million people. Pardon our sweatpants.

Neverending Elvis
The Bangkok Post reports on a rash of celebrity political candidates in Indonesia: "A white jumpsuit stretched over his bulging belly, an aging crooner known as Indonesia's Elvis launches into song ahead of elections Wednesday"... "Bro Rhoma I love you, bro Rhoma for Indonesian president," screamed one woman wearing a purple Muslim headscarf at his Jakarta concert as she danced vigorously."

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