The Commercial Appeal recently ran a brilliant bit of accidental comedy about Memphis panhandling laws. According to the daily, "Forbidden panhandling behavior includes using profane or abusive language, panhandling in a group of two or more, acting in an intimidating or physically obstructive manner. It is forbidden to misrepresent the purpose of the donation, such as that it is for food when it is for illegal drugs, or that the panhandler is stranded or homeless, when he or she is not. The penalty is no more than $50 per offense." With all these strictly enforced rules, how¹s a man supposed to get a bottle of the bumpy?