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OTHER PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS

OTHER PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS

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AFTER THE NOTICE Listen: The past few months at my job have been hell. My coworkers have been really mean to me, talking about me behind my back and blaming all the mistakes on me. Fortunately, my immediate supervisor knows this and has always been really supportive. He's known for a while that I would quit as soon as something better came along and just this month, I graduated college, found an actual career position, and put in my notice. The night after I put in my notice, he called me at home and asked me out. I wasn't completely surprised, but I didn't really want to date him so I was somewhat noncommittal. I told him I thought I had other plans already and then I made sure I had other plans. Well, when I got back to work, I mentioned it to a co-worker of mine and found out that everyone at work already thought we were sleeping together. No wonder everyone had been treating me so badly. I asked my supervisor about it and he said he knew about the rumor, but hadn't started it, and that he had done his best to quash it. I thought that it was going to end there, but a couple of days ago, one of our customers gave us six tickets to the Redbirds. Two of the tickers were behind third base; the other four were behind first. No one else but my supervisor and I were around when we got the tickets and he suggested that we take them for ourselves and not tell anyone. I agreed and he gave me two and then took the other four for himself. I assumed that the two he gave me were the ones behind third, but when I got there with my date, it turned out that we were sitting right next to him and one of his friends. Both of them looked kind of surprised when they saw my date, and his friend whispered something to my supervisor that I can only assume was something about his plan backfiring. I guess it really doesn1t matter anymore but I am so angry. I want to say something to him, but I'm not sure I should. Even though I'm not working there anymore, I probably will still see him around town. Okay: This is my favorite: when someone calls you up and says something vague, like, We're both going to the concert; we might as well ride together, just the two of us, and we both have to eat, so we might as well go to dinner beforehand. Like they don't want to risk the rejection, but they want to date you so they try to trick you into going out on some de facto date. Like, oh, she won't know what hit her. I mean, really, how stupid do guys think women are? Now to his credit, your supervisor waited until you quit before he asked you out. And to his credit, he did ask you out instead of going the above-noted round-about route. Unfortunately, when you let him down easily, he realized he was going to have to do a little scheming. I mean, he couldn't ask you out again, because you had already sort of rejected him, although not outright. So instead he got all squirrelly and arranged a sort of set up. You totally have a right to be mad and I'm sure your date loved it, too. At any rate, I think you should say something. It doesn't have to be the verbal equivalent of a flaming bag of dog doody on his front driveway, since you might see him again, but you know. Don1t let it go unsaid, if only to save other women from his sneaky set-ups. As for your work environment, give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't have anything to do with the rumor that the two of you were doing the dirty; remember, though, they had to get the idea from somewhere. And if someone gives you some freebies at your next job, look carefully to see if there are any strings attached. Listen: I've been living in this real shithole for a little over a year. It's really cheap but I need to get out. My girlfriend1s lease is up in a few months and I figured we could move into a place together. We've been together for about three years and I think it just makes sense. She seems a little hesitant. Her family is a little traditional, but we spend all of our time over at my place anyway. Moving in would save us so much money. Can you think of any way I could convince her? Okay: Definitely play up the financial benefits of such a union. Bring out the balance sheets and talk about the cost-benefit analysis and if she says anything about needing her own space, just say, Think of all the money we'll save. You can buy your own space. Actually, that was unbridled sarcasm. Whatever you do, don't play up the money factor; that's about as romantic as getting a wet dishrag for Christmas or a mop for your birthday. And no one wants that. If she's already hesitant about moving in with you, constantly talking about the savings isn1t going to make her want to do it anymore. I mean, you want to move in with a significant other for love, not just convenience or because that person's a cheapskate. Not that you are, necessarily, but I do think you should think about getting maybe a roommate. That way, you and your girlfriend can stay together; you can get a better place; she can still have her own space. You can move in together later when both your checkbooks and your hearts are ready. <

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