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The Cheat Sheet

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Two thugs who invaded a house in Whitehaven ran into some rather pointed resistance during their attempted

robbery. A quick-thinking resident pulled a giant sword from beneath a living-room couch and chopped off the trigger finger of one of the gunmen just as he was about to shoot. The robbers got away, but police managed to take a fingerprint from the hacked-off digit and are now looking for a suspect that, as The Commercial Appeal so eloquently put it, has "nine and one-half fingers." Next time, robbers will think twice before they break into the home of the Last Samurai.

The Memphis and Shelby County Emergency Management Agency has printed up nice signs in case of a disaster. Residents will place a green "OK" or red "HELP" sign in their front window so police, firemen, and other first responders can take proper action. What concerns us is that the EMA has printed up signs for every home in Shelby County. That makes us nervous. Do they know something they're not telling us?

Sputnik Monroe, the wrasslin' legend who packed Ellis Auditorium in the 1950s and '60s, dies at the age of 77 in Florida. Memphis has had quite a few colorful characters in its long history, and Sputnik was right up there with the best of them.

The latest Memphis City Schools "report card" shows that math-comprehension scores for all students increased just a bit from 2005 to 2006, but reading scores dropped. It's easy to see why. Since every kid we see has an iPod stuck in their ears and video games at their fingertips, who needs to read anything anymore (except for the Flyer, of course) to stay entertained?

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