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The Cheat Sheet



Dozens of people stand in line at stores around Memphis, desperately hoping to get their hands on the new PlayStation 3 for the holidays. Some merchants give tickets to the first few customers; any others are out of luck. At a local Target, one of the hopeful shoppers who waited overnight for one of the store's eight PlayStations turns away a latecomer, telling him, "There's not a chance in hell." Ahhh, that's the Christmas spirit. It just warms your heart, doesn't it?

Memphis police report that more than 540 homes have been burglarized here in the past three weeks alone. No doubt the thieves have heard that's pretty much their only chance to get one of those new PlayStations.

The Memphis Zoo has a new

addition: a cute baby giraffe named Angela Kate. Workers unexpectedly find the creature in the giraffe compound after its mother -- whom no one knew was pregnant -- gave birth and apparently neglected it. So it's the same old story: no mention of a father, a covert pregnancy, the poor infant abandoned by its mother -- sounds like a teenage pregnancy.

Memphis Light, Gas and Water holds seminars for customers to show them how to reduce their utility bills. Oh sure, putting caulk around the windows and lowering your thermostat helps, but we've discovered there's only one thing that works during the winter: Turn all your lights and heat completely OFF until, oh, June. It's simple, really.

The Muvico at Peabody Place darkens about half of its 22 screens, citing a decrease in demand. Some people will see this as the direct result of in-home competitors like Netflix, but we tend to blame Hollywood for cranking out such tripe as Santa Claus 3.

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