The Cheat Sheet

| April 19, 2007

Police arrest a man at a downtown parking garage who was posing as an attendant and taking money from patrons. This makes us wonder: Was he wearing a uniform? Was he standing in the little booth? Where was the real attendant? Did the lot even have a real attendant? We've considered giving out awards for the city's best con job, since we're seeing so many of them lately, but we really don't want to encourage this kind of behavior.

As part of its Tennessee Waltz

sting, the FBI gathered 57 videotapes of former senator John Ford saying some very interesting things to informants. In one video, Ford tells an undercover agent posing as a businessman that he can get him Grizzlies tickets anytime he wants and offers this odd reassurance: "I got your back. I got your front. I got your injured knee." The agent did indeed have a knee injury, but when one grown man tells another grown man, "I got your front," we say, back away.

In more Ford news — this time involving Edmund, not John — the city councilman wants it clear that during an argument about his select treatment by Memphis Light, Gas and Water, he supposedly told Carol Chumney, "Don't make me your pawn" instead of "Don't make me your punk." Oh yes, that's much better.

The good people of Walls, Mississippi, are offended when a private club erects a series of billboards along Highway 61. The first one reads, "Got Beer?" and the second one beckons, "Got Boobs?" We won't say where you would go for the beer, but Walls should consider itself fortunate. For all the boobs you need, just keep driving to Memphis and look at the long list of civic leaders caught in the Tennessee Waltz scandal.

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