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The Cheat Sheet

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A car on the miniature train that loops through the Memphis Zoo overturned on a curve, tumbling passengers onto the ground. Luckily, no one was seriously hurt since the locomotive just barely chugs along. But considering that this is a place crawling with lions, tigers, bears, alligators, pythons, and all sorts of deadly creatures, who would have thought the most dangerous thing at the zoo would be the children's train?

In the latest development in the never-ending Zippin Pippin saga, the roller coaster may be donated to the city. Just one problem: They plan to keep the old cars. We hate to point out the obvious, but a roller coaster really needs two things: a track, and cars that roll along it.

Senator — make that former senator — John Ford is convicted of bribery charges as part of the Tennessee Waltz sting, though he somehow manages to escape other charges of extortion and intimidating witnesses. Ford used to be called "Teflon John" because he had an amazing ability to slip out of the most incredible messes, but it looks like this time something finally stuck to him. And next week, he travels to Nashville to face charges of fraud.

Memphis City Schools has a snappy slogan: "Every Student. Every Day. College Bound." Trying to catch up, the Shelby County school system came up with a slogan of its own: "Preparing students for tomorrow today." We're sorry, but that just sounds all wrong. How can you prepare students for tomorrow today if you can't even come up with a well-written slogan?

Collierville police nab three men who snatched iPods and other personal items from cars by resorting to a brilliant tactic: They pulled on car doors until they found one that was unlocked. Thieves are certainly getting awful clever.

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