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The Cheat Sheet

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The news from the Memphis City Schools just keeps getting worse. We knew the department that runs the cafeterias — the Central Nutrition Center — had ordered too much food last year, but a recent audit shows that more than $3.6 million worth of frozen food had to be tossed out because there was no place to store it. No wonder our landfills are reaching capacity. That's an awful lot of fish sticks.

The Bartlett Police Department sells the Millington Police Department a pair of old radar guns for just one dollar. Explaining the bargain price, a Bartlett spokesman tells reporters that they are old models, and "we are not going to repair or auction them." Repair? Do they even work?

Vandals have been making their mark on buildings in Lakeland, but officials reassure jittery citizens that the graffiti is not caused by gangs. Instead, they believe the cryptic symbols are "tags" spraypainted by other groups — including what was described as a "small clan" of skateboarders who are only 10 to 14 years old and call themselves "The Kids Rule Click." Hey kids, it's actually spelled "clique." Stay in school.

A Germantown surgeon already charged with three counts of sexual assault now faces an additional charge of indecent exposure, from a massage therapist who claims the doctor allegedly exposed himself during the session. It looks like it's time for this orthopedic surgeon to be hands off.

The Shelby County Sheriff's Department charges two vendors from Texas with selling counterfeit designer shoes, purses, wallets, and other items. No wonder our new purse says "Goochy."

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