First of all, can someone please explain to me why George W. Bush more and more walks around with his little chest poked out and his arms out from his sides like he has a grapefruit under each armpit? Is it not enough that ol Bring on the attacks on American soldiers has lied to the world since day one in office and is the only American president in history with a criminal record, but must he constantly look like he s at the rodeo? I can t even look at him on television without wanting to bash the screen out with a frying pan. But on to much more important news: the Bennifer debacle. Yep, the headlines and talking news station heads are now obsessed with the potential breakup between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. Can anyone please tell me what this woman has done to be so famous? Sure, Affleck was in some pretty good movies early in his career, but does Lopez actually possess any real talent? Is she a singer? She certainly can t act. The only thing I really know about her is that she wore a skimpy dress to the Academy Awards a few years ago and was famous overnight. What is the deal? Now, Madonna, on the other hand, is vying for an Oscar in the upcoming film about the West Memphis Three, trying to push another actress out of the role and taking it for herself. The big question here is: What the hell is going to be her reaction when she visits West Memphis? I can t really see the Material Girl hanging out at Catfish Island (although they do have great catfish) or staying at a truck stop (there is one a bit down the roads where truckers can take a shower and buy fresh peaches; this has always totally freaked me out). But can you imagine? And now onto other, more important news. I am getting free hubcaps for my car. Yes, I mentioned on this page a few weeks ago that I had only one hubcap and a very sweet, sweet woman from Hubcap Annie wrote to tell me that she would be happy to put hubcaps on my car as a thank you for writing this column every week for what seems like 700 years. Thank you, Hubcap Annie! Note to sears: I do not have a dishwasher. Note to Time Warner: I do not have cable. Note to Sherwin-Williams: My house needs painting. Note to any plumber out there: I do not have a disposal. Note to Underground Sound: I do not have a real stereo and can listen to music only on a boom box. Note to any hardwood floor finisher: I have a 16-year-old cat who no longer sees fit to use the litter box and there are approximately 36 cigarette burns in the floor. Okay, I guess you get the picture. And I hubcaps. Yes! In the meantime, here s a look at some of what s going on around town this week. And I am in a huge hurry, so this is going to have to be brief. Today, the MIFA Open House Birthday Celebration MIFA turns 35 this year includes a tour of the main building, Estvial Place s transitional housing for the homeless, and the Les Passes Center for Children & Families. I ve taken this tour and it is well worth the time. And there s a Five Performer Tag Team concert at Otherlands tonight.