While I am one of those totally left-wing, knee-jerk, liberal persons who is totally against the war in Iraq and despises everything that comes out of Gorge W. s mouth and thinks John Ashcroft is a closet queen like J. Edgar Hoover, I have to say that those Iraqis can be some crazy folks. This is in reference the article that appeared in The Commercial Appeal the other day about the young female suicide bomber who blew herself up and her family s reaction to it. It seems they don t care that she tried to blow up some American soldiers or even that she was dead. They are pissed off because she left the house along without permission a big no-no in their tribe. Her father is so man and embarrassed that he said if she hadn t blown herself up and had come back home, he would have chopped off her head himself and drunk her blood. Now, all cultural beliefs and practices aside, doesn t that seem a bit on the harsh side? It seems that law there even allows fathers to kill their daughters if they go out in public alone without permission. And while there are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq as we were told, that does seem like kind of a terrorist way to live. I wonder what they would have done with that little elementary school student in Florida whose behavior was so bad his teacher sued the school system for loss of enjoyment of life, among other things. Seems he stabbed a kid with fork, told his teacher to kiss my butt, hit another student for reading, and called him a stupid ugly faggot. I bet he wouldn t get away with that over there, or maybe he would since he is male. And I guess PT s Showclub here in Memphis wouldn t go over very well over there either. Especially their recent FOR LADIES ONLY! Party, which included the hottest male review; the most intimate in toys, lotions, lingerie, and bedroom sports! Or one of their upcoming events during which paramedics will on duty in case of any emergency! Talk about some head chopping. And I bet they wouldn t take to kindly to what someone recently did on Monroe downtown near McEewen s. Seems that cars were getting an overabundance of parking tickets by one Memphis Police officer, and someone protested by designing little stickers that read These meters are being read by a big fat read-headed bitch! and adhered them so well to the meters up and down the block that they can t be removed. At least they weren t the last time I was over there. This has simply fueled by sick desire to print my own bumper stickers and run around at night placing them over existing stickers on cars. Like the ones that read, Soccer Mom on Board. I would love cover those with one that reads, I Gave My Dog Arsenic and see how long it takes for the driver to notice it. And there s the all-time fantasy of going out to the Bellevue Baptist compound and putting Gay and Proud! stickers on all of the cars. But I would never do such a thing and do not recommend it. It s just something to dream about. In the meantime, I guess it s time to get to the real point of all this so here s a brief look at some of what s going on around town this week. Tonight, Native Son is at the fabulous Elvis Presley s Memphis. Todd Snider and Will Kimbrough are at The Lounge. And just in case no one has told you, at the new South Beach Eatery & Entertainment on Macon Road, there s a Miss Corona Bikini Contest. I hope no one from that Iraqi tribe makes it to this one.