8-Lane 'Green Line' Through Overton Park Announced, Officials Hoping Everyone Will Just Go With It



Alan Thyme
  • Alan Thyme
MEMPHIS—With fingers crossed and bated breath, city officials today announced that construction will soon begin on “The Overton Park Green Line,” a multi-lane "thoroughfare" connecting I-40 Downtown to Sam Cooper Boulevard.

“The new Green Line is exactly what our community has been clamoring for,” said spokesman Alan Thyme, brazenly twirling his sinister moustache. “In fact,” he continued, “as part of the project, we’re sponsoring a new Urban Jungle exhibit at the Memphis Zoo,” referencing the intention to raze and pave Primate Canyon.

One area resident remarked that he was “excited that [his] neighborhood would finally be Green Line accessible,” unaware that he will be evicted and his multi-generation family home bulldozed to build a more efficient route for freight to pass through Memphis.

Implementation is expected to begin in early 2014, with an expected completion date of March 2065. An independent analysis by state engineers predicts that the sound of traffic passing by the acoustically live Levitt Shell could strip paint off of passing vehicles.


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