New Union Ave. Kroger to Open in Germantown


Artists depiction of work on the Midtown/Germantown Kroger Tunnel AKA "The Krunnel."
  • Artists depiction of work on the Midtown/Germantown Kroger Tunnel AKA "The Krunnel."

As other media outlets have already reported, the new Kroger on Union Ave. will be "nowhere near" your standard Midtown Kroger. In an effort to lead the market in new shopping technology and strengthen Kroger's brand within the rapidly expanding high-end food store community of West Tennessee's official grocery district, the new Union Ave. Kroger will open in Germantown.

Kay Rogers of Big Con consulting describes the move as "bold." 

"This is what thinking outside the box means," Rogers says. "Or thinking outside the 'big box' in this case. Most people assume that a newly renovated store is naturally confined to its original geographical context. Well, I guess this is a nice reminder of the old chestnut about assumptions. And how they make us look like ass people." 

Rodgers didn't explain the science behind opening a Union Ave. branch in Germantown, but Midtown resident Bing Hampton has some ideas.

"There's something funny going on over there on Union Ave. and I don't mean knock-knock joke funny neither," says Hampton who believes the night crew is digging an enormous tunnel all the way to Germantown.

"I don't have any proof or anything, but Union's been going to Hell ever since they tore down the Sex Pistols Taco Bell in order to put up a new Taco Bell," he says. "People said it couldn't happen to the Sex Pistols' Taco Bell, but it did. Now it's only a matter of time before they move the whole street to the suburbs."


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