The Metro Charter Commission is enlisting LaunchMemphis — and local citizens — to help it fulfill one of its most important responsibilities: figuring out what the new consolidated government would be called.
The commission hopes to set up a way to get citizen suggestions by next week and plans to keep the process open for two to three weeks.
Following the example of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt — a.k.a. Brangelina — I think we have to go with Memphishelby.
In all seriousness, there are statutory limitations on the name of the new government. It has to be either the Memphis Metropolitan government, Shelby Metropolitan government, Memphis Shelby Metropolitan government, or something the commission deems historically or geographically appropriate.
At a meeting last night, metro charter commission members acknowledged that the choice was limited, but said the naming contest would help build citizen awareness about the charter commission is and what they are doing.
But when you think about it, it's not that limited. There are all sorts of things we could go with.
There's Wolf River Metro. Or, better yet, the Wolf Metro.
If we became the Wolf Metro area, there's no way citizens could suffer from all those feelings of inadequacy they do as Memphians. We would be Wolfians. Plus, when Forbes publishes its their most miserable places, no one would know where Wolf was. But it would sound badass.
We could acknowledge the way the world is going — corporate citizens, anyone? — and, as a nod to it, choose something such as FedExia.
Shelvis? (Bianca Phillips gave me this one. Just for the record.)
Just think of all the rebranding possibilities.