John Ford and his Rolex got their day in court Tuesday, and if a wristwatch going on trial wasn't surreal enough, the proceedings featured a playback of audio and video footage gathered by the FBI in Operation Tennessee Waltz.
Among Fords greatest hits overheard on the tapes:
"Let me handle these motherf--kers ... spread honey all over their asses and eat their lunch."
On Rusty Hyneman: "Hes a rich white boy. This motherf--ker got his own private jet. It is bad shit, I flew on it to Nashville. He ain't got one, he got two.
On Hynemans trouble with the EPA: "You can build hundreds of millions of dollars worth of shit ... and theyll make you tear the shit down. ... That attorney general has some mean motherf--kers."
Fords solution: "Let me handle this shit."
On the Rolex: "Platinum, rose gold, yellow gold. This came from outer space."
On the feds: "The FBI has a lot of shell companies. You see that shit on TV."
And finally: "I never missed a beat."