"Everyone was in on it," said Calipari, "the players, the assistant coaches, the recruits, everyone. I just got tired of all the silly speculation and decided to have a little fun with the media. Besides, do you really think I'd want to move to a rathole like Lexington, Kentucky? I mean, most of the fans there don't even have teeth. My wife would kill me."
"John is a guy who likes to have a good laugh," said Memphis AD R.C. Johnson. "So when he came up with this idea, I thought, Why not? The publicity will be great for the university."
As the news of Cal's practical joke spread around the city, Memphians were seen high-fiving on the street and honking their car horns. "That Cal," said Tiger fan I. B. Lyon, "he's always one step ahead. I never believed he'd leave, really. It had to be a joke. I mean, c'mon, Kentucky???"
Calipari also announced today that top recruit John Wall would make a commitment to the U of M as soon as this afternoon.
In other April 1st news: Rush Limbaugh said he now hopes President Obama "succeeds," and the Chrysler Corporation has announced a 68 percent increase in first-quarter profits. Also, Cal's Championship Steakhouse has changed its name to KFC.