I have a shocking confession. Well, not that shocking if youve seen me recently. Maybe just surprising. Okay, Ill just say it: I havent been to the gym in ... oh, two months and counting. You know, there was this whole thing with summer and I was busy and my bathing suit somehow became threadbare in the butt and all my other workout clothes were dirty (and they dont let you swim in sweat pants anyway) and I just didnt get there. Now its getting to be the time when I need to make my way back to the mecca of fitness anyway (Halloween being my favorite holiday and all), but in the wake of recent events -- specifically the war -- I feel like I shouldve gone back yesterday. Or the day before. Or not quite going in the first place. Im not in shape right now. At all. I get winded taking my dog out for a walk. And part of me wants to bulk up and kick some Osama butt, okay? I like the idea of a woman -- any woman -- giving bin Laden the beatdown. Call it poetic justice. The other part of the new gym kick (still yet to begin of course) is due to my own panic attacks. Ive been trying to keep them under control, but heres another shocker: I had some extra bottled water stockpiled on December 31st, 1999. Not more than a few liters, not enough to keep someone alive is something drastic had happened, just enough if there were glitches for a few days. I was just trying to be prepared and, for the record, I drank the water eventually anyway, but, oh, the ribbing and jokes that were made at my expense around the family dinner table. You know, stuff about building a bomb shelter in the backyard and stockpiling tomato soup. And, yes, nothing happened during either millennium (you know, depending which way you look at it), but I do not apologize for thinking something bad could have happened. Im not saying that a full blown jihad is coming (I have yet to grasp the idea of a "holy" war, btw) but I would like to acknowledge that things might possibly get a little hairy. Pakistan has nukes, for crying out loud. And I know security is tighter now than ever, but Im still not all that comforted. What if I have to break into a sprint some time? Or even a full-blown run? If were talking survival of the fittest, well, right now that definitely isnt me. So back to the gym. Just to be prepared. And if nothing happens, great. Maybe at the very least, Ill lose a few pounds. No harm in that. Now Ive just got to figure out where to get those little water-purifying tablets.