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Fly on the Wall 1363

Jesus jelly beans, classy Elvis, and wigsnatch.

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Cross Purposes

Easter is over, and you know what that means, right? Discount Easter candy at Walgreens! Fly on the Wall recommends this special cross-shaped tin of flavored jelly beans. In case the photo is too small to read, black represents "your sinful heart," while white represents "the cleansing of my sin." Purple represents "royalty," which can't possibly taste good. Red is clearly labeled "Jesus' blood."

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Verbatim

"Elvis had a lot of dignity. Elvis had a lot of class. He was a beautiful specimen of a man." — Priscilla Presley explaining why there would be no jumpsuit-wearing, sideburn-sporting tribute artists officiating at Elvis Presley's Graceland Wedding Chapel when it opens in Las Vegas on April 23rd.

Crimeware

Where are the fashion police when you need them? Last week, Fly on the Wall shared a story about a clothing store robbery on Highland where one of the perps wore a Santa hat. This week surveillance cameras at a Union Avenue Circle K captured images of a robber wearing a luxurious shoulder-length wig.

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