Where is this mythical place called Dystopia? According to this lovely, lion-faced sign, it can be found in Memphis' historic empty parking-lot district, also known as the Pinch.
You've probably heard the stories going around, but here's what really happened. The Memphis Zoo was trying out a new exhibit showcasing creatures from Madagascar. First, this radiated tortoise looked at the Malagasy tree boa like he was no better than a snake. Which he is obviously, but who does that? Anyway, to repay his amphibious roommate for the presumed insult, the Malagasy tree boa bit the radiated tortoise on his fool head. "You looking at me?", he then demanded, ripping off his little snake shirt and wrapping himself around the tortoise's neck in an attempt to constrict some sense into him. If a zookeeper hadn't separated the two, who knows what might have happened next? And that's why they can't have anything nice in the Herpetarium.
Outspoken atheist Richard Dawkins appeared on the religiously themed Irish television program The Meaning of Life last week to discuss his controversial views and to make a surprise confession about Elvis Presley, who, in addition to sparking a religious fervor in fans, may have also possessed the power to work actual miracles. In his interview with show host Gay Byrne, Dawkins revealed that he had spent some small amount of time as an ardent Christian and "Elvis prophet" after coming into contact with some of Presley's gospel records.