Frosty's Got a Gun
Have you ever stopped to think about some of the things that go on in the popular holiday song "Frosty the Snowman?" Like that part where Frosty leads the children down the streets of town right to a traffic cop. And he "only paused a moment when he heard him holler, 'STOP!'" Have you ever wondered how Frosty could just flat-out ignore a policeman's direct order and get away with it?
Well, he's a snowman, so he's white obviously. But that's only part of the troubling story. What we didn't know until this ad for Bass Pro's $49.99 holiday inflatables came out: Frosty, the "happy, jolly soul" immortalized in song, isn't an ordinary enchanted snowman. He's a seven-foot-tall enchanted snowman packing major heat. It's all visions of sugarplums until your childhood fantasies start fighting back.
Prince Mongo shows up in the strangest places. Last week, his name popped up in a post for the feminist blog Jezebel. Mongo told the author, who was in Memphis to shop at thrift stores, about the time he won an insurance settlement and used the money to rent a hot-air balloon and buy a bunch of expensive radio equipment to broadcast from said balloon and how said radio equipment had to be thrown from the balloon to make it lighter as the balloon approached power lines.