Is there anything more disappointing than a film about a man urinating inappropriately inside a Kellogg's factory but not pissing in the cornflakes? The short answer is no. The long answer is also no, but that didn't stop a Memphis-made video from going viral last week after pretty much every news station on Earth shared pixelated footage of a man relieving himself on equipment inside the Person Street Kellogg's factory.
The video — lit like the bad horror movie it is — opens with an establishing shot where viewers are introduced to an innocent conveyor belt. Then a pair of mysterious black lace-up shoes enter the bottom left corner of the frame. A pale stream arcs upward, as if from nowhere, dribbling urine onto the equipment. The camera moves awkwardly around and down to reveal the source of the pee: an even more mysterious penis-shaped blur. The camera shakily pans around the room, and then it's all over. Credits roll without the wetting of a single cornflake. We're smelling something here at Fly on the Wall, and it's not Oscar.
Does anybody rack up posthumous business partnerships like Elvis Presley? The King of Rock and Roll was recently re-christened as "the King of Men's Grooming" by American Crew, a company that manufactures a variety of hair products built to keep one's Presley-esque quiff perfectly coiffed. According to company founder David Raccuglia, "Men around the world owe a debt to Elvis." A debt that can only be paid in hair product and jowly sideburns.