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Fly on the Wall 1439

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Job Opportunity

WREG is hiring an assistant news director to...

• supervise

• set the tone of the station's content

• put the "schizzle" into Breaking News.

No, your Pesky Fly isn't paraphrasing for humorous effect. As this screenshot from WREG's listing shows "schizzle" is expected. A made-up word. That somebody misspelled.

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The best candidate doesn't bring context, insight, experience, or even value — but "schizzle." Moreover, they're expected to put said "schizz" in "Breaking News," which isn't even a proper noun.

Apart from racial coding and awkward stabs at millennial-speak, what can it even mean? Because, if we're working with the strict Oxford English Dictionary definition (which completely exists), putting "shit" into breaking news sounds unethical, if not unhygienic. So let's presume "schizzle" is just some 2016-ized version of marketing pioneer Elmer Wheeler's classic line:

"It's the sizzle that sells the steak, and not the cow," the maestro proclaimed. "Hidden in everything you sell in life is a sizzle — the tang in the cheese, the crunch in the cracker, the whiff in the coffee, and the pucker in the pickle."

He's right, of course, but WREG's not hiring an assistant salesperson or marketing director, and this looks like everything terrible about TV news in one bullet point. Nobody survives on "schizzle" alone, and after a long steady diet of nothing but, there's plenty of folks ready for a nice, meaty "schteak."

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