"Well, if they would read their history book and find out what it's all about, the 'War of Northern Aggression' was about taxes, it was not about slavery.
Lincoln couldn't find a real good reason to have a war, so he decided it was all about slavery. Two different issues right there." — Bill Dorris, Confederate art enthusiast, provocateur to FOX 17, Nashville.
Dorris was responding to questions about his recently vandalized roadside statue of Klansman, slave trader, and Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest.
"If we ain't fightin' to keep slavery, then what the hell are we fightin' for?" — Klansman, slave trader, and Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest.
Memphis provocateur Thaddeus Matthews caught a viral wave last week when a live, profanity-laden rant on Facebook shocked viewers and non-local media outlets like Raw Story, who were unaware of the longtime radio personality's shock-jock history.
Having reinvented himself as the foul-mouthed pastor of Naked Truth and Empowerment Ministries, Matthews made headlines for cursing out critics who don't think it's right for pastors to curse.
Matthews response: "I'm the cussing pastor, while your motherf*ckin' pastor ain't doing a godd*mn thing."
What the world needs now (and pretty much always) is more Elvis.
This March, we'll be getting just that when IDW comics launches a new Bubba Ho-Tep series.