They say all good things must end, but that's not the whole truth. Terrible and mediocre things must also end, and so, too, must my time as the person getting paid to share Memphis' craziest typos, most ridiculous church signs, and all those pictures of things that probably weren't supposed look like penises.
That's right friends: This is the last Fly on the Wall column I'll ever write, and I don't have a damn thing planned for it. I was going to dig into the archives and count the number of Fly-columns I've written for the Memphis Flyer, but that would have required actual work, and everybody knows this thin strip of newsprint is reserved for fart jokes, making fun of local celebrities, and running commentary on Elvis in the afterlife.
So, I have no idea how many times I've done this, but it's accurate to say that, after 20 years of weekly service, with rare breaks for special projects and child rearing, your Pesky Fly is referring to himself in the third person for the last time. It has been a true pleasure watching me grow as a writer.
Stay weird, Memphis!
Crap, I still have like 50 words left, and I'm so bad at goodbyes. Here's a picture of something everybody was sharing on the internet last week about how depressing it is to eat at (a fictional) Panda Express in the Memphis airport.
It was funnier when The Onion first published the story in 2012.