Had Ben Franklin lived in Memphis in the 21st century, he might have said that the only certain things in life are "death, taxes, and a traffic-snarling wreck on I-240 with smoking cars backed up for miles." And yet on Saturday, March 24th, Memphis' generally busy thoroughfare looked like this:
Was it the Rapture? Hell, no. It was Tiger basketball that wrought this miracle. Sadly, it was the weekend's only basketball-related miracle.
Slow News Day
This just in from Memphis' Daily News: "Traditional malls hold their own against newer open-air formats." True enough, the traditional mall has held its own, performing much better than many analysts predicted against a much younger challenger that is famous for thinking "outside the box." But it's also important to remember that traditional malls have a glass elevator. If the open-air shopping center can work its way inside and get a clean shot at that glass elevator, the traditional mall is going down.
"Mr. Lawler, you don't have any brains. You're just some dumb hick from Memphis, Tennessee," fumed Andy Kaufman, challenging Jerry Lawler, the king of the Memphis ring, to the most celebrated grudge match in the history of fake fighting. When Lawler turned around and slapped Kaufman on Late Night with David Letterman, professional wrestling made the jump from popular niche sport to mainstream entertainment.
On March 31st, Lawler will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. A dubious honor, perhaps, but an honor nonetheless. Respect.