The Tennessee Center for Policy Research, a conservative think tank, recently released a study cleverly titled 2007 Tennessee Pork Report: Tennessee Government Gone Hog Wild. Not surprisingly, the organization frowns on public funding of the arts, and knowing that you can't bash The Nutcracker, TCFPR honchos Drew Johnson and Trent Seibert have wisely compiled a list of dirty art made by dirty artists with public money. Five thousand dollars went to Jeff Hand, a sculptor who stitches pillows that look like Viagra and well endowed teddy bears. University of Memphis alum Nate Eppler, who received numerous critical plaudits and awards when his play Keeping Up with the Joneses premiered at the U of M, was also singled out. Eppler used his 5G to produce his latest play, Mr. Greenjeans, which the report describes as "an intentional misinterpretation of a 1970s Japanese play The Green Stockings ... follow[ing] the life of a man who has both the stomach of a cow and a suicidal panty fetish." Congratulations of some sort are probably in order.
Fun with Headlines
Can you guess which of these actual headlines from local media organizations doesn't belong here?
"South Memphis Neighborhood Happy the Bullets Stopped Flying"
"Police Standoff Ends"
"Woman Shot in North Memphis"
"Three Teens Wounded in Random Shooting in Memphis"
"Commissioner Plans to Propose [Adult] Nightclub Crackdown."
Even as the bullets zip around our ears and ankles, Shelby County Commissioners like Mike Ritz are devising newer and better ways to suspend liquor licenses and combat the dangerous proliferation of jiggly female nakedness. The latest surge against the skinful enemy is crucial because if you don't fight these glitter-smeared boobies in their native clubs today, you'll be fighting them in your kitchen tomorrow. Better buy a gun, y'all.