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Fly on the Wall

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It's a Celebration

On a gloomy Thursday, civic-minded Memphians trickled out to the polls to elect a new mayor. The results were largely unsurprising, with City Council member Wanda Halbert seizing eighth place a scant 105 votes ahead of alien/rubber-chicken enthusiast Robert "Prince Mongo" Hodges. Fifth-place finisher Jerry "the King" Lawler pinned the Rev. Kenneth WHALUM!!! to the mat by nearly doubling the exclamatory cleric's 2,094 votes. And, as expected, the night's big winner was county mayor A C Wharton, who garnered more votes than all of the other candidates combined. Your Pesky Fly attended Wharton's victory party at Minglewood Hall where, as usual, Pesky was shocked, surprised, horrified, and generally put out by almost everything, especially the tiny, understocked snack counter consisting almost exclusively of a tray of meatballs and a tray of chicken tenders.

Wharton and his supporters often spoke of unity and "one Memphis," but a performance by hip-hop artist J. Smooth on Thursday included "My Inspiration," which referenced black men being "beat down by white cops." Except everybody knows that Memphis cops looking to get their excessive force on usually go after trannys.

The Fly team also was disturbed by the decorations, which consisted almost entirely of small balloon people with prominent boobs ...

As they say on the Internet: WTF?

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