According to a Commercial Appeal headline, "Nobody is Cooking Up Evil in West Memphis Parcel." The headline, which topped a story about how a mysterious package found at the home of West Memphis bomb victim Dr. Trent Pierce turned out to be a cookbook, is cute but makes little sense. Good or evil, there's no room to cook anything in a parcel.
Week in Elvis
With Elvis Presley's 75th birthday celebration right around the corner, Memphis' most famous dead celebrity is all over the news:
• Missed Opportunities: 59-year-old semi-celebrity Suzi Quatro, a Euro-rocker best known in her native America for playing Leather Tuscadero on Happy Days, says she cried as soon as she walked through the doors of Graceland. Quatro, who is in town recording a BBC Radio documentary about Elvis' home, turned down a personal invitation to visit Elvis at Graceland in the '70s after her cover of "All Shook Up" charted.
• Not Getting Fresh: According to The Commercial Appeal, Graceland is "cooking up a special treat for Elvis Presley's 75th birthday" by hosting an online contest to determine who gets to make EP's cake. Contestants include West Memphian Pam Reed, with Cakes By Mom, who says it will take two weeks to complete her five-tier design.
• Things That Bite: A dental crown that, according to the seller, was given to Elvis by his girlfriend Linda Thompson, is for sale on eBay. The opening bid is set at $10,000, but there are currently no bidders.
• O Sole Mio: Aaron Schroeder, who wrote no fewer than 17 of Elvis' songs, including the operatic hit "It's Now or Never," is dead at the age of 84. Schroeder also wrote the theme song for the Saturday morning cartoon show Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! RIP.